hippie business
Several times while here, people have asked me if I meditate. I don’t. I like to think I appreciate meditation, but I can’t even say that I do, considering I’ve only given it a shot 2-3 times since 2007. The first time I heard the question, I brushed it off as random hippie business that I would hear in California. I heard it again. Hippie business. I heard it again. Hippie business.
Later in the week, I passed by a bikram yoga joint, and recalling that every bikram spot has a intro week offer (aka a bunch of yoga for a fraction of the usual price), I thought it’d be a sweet opportunity to get back into shape and take part in something that I hadn’t done in a year or two.
I sat there dripping sweat in the first few minutes, constantly being reminded of the heat of Varanasi. The practice is supposed to entail focus and mental stillness. You’re not supposed to wipe the sweat or be bothered by it, really, as the focus is supposed to be on the self. I couldn’t keep my mind in one place, as I couldn’t stop thinking about how unflexible I’d become, how there were drips of sweat waiting to be smacked off the tip of my nose, my cheekbones, my chip, my earlobes, my elbows, everything, how I hadn’t actually taken a look at myself without a shirt on in weeks and how I had a few pounds to lose, how the ripped guy and the girl in front of me – decked out in their yoga gear – put me to shame with every one of the 26 positions.
When I was done, I figured it was a good opportunity to remind myself that I had some work to do, physically and mentally speaking.
I haven’t been able to focus and just…reflect effectively as of late, and that’s strongly due to the fact that I just never give myself a chance to breathe. When I have too much to do, I have trouble focusing. When I have too little to do, I act hastily.
The day after bikram, I went to Wednesday night meditation at Nipun’s parents’ house (more on that later), and I sat for half an hour to meditate. I was late, so I didn’t get the full hour. I had never really meditated, so I didn’t know what I was doing, but I went with what I’ve always heard – “let thoughts come and go. Don’t hold onto them. Focus on your breath. Just let things be.” All these abstract concepts that I didn’t know what to do with, but upon closing my eyes, I just…sat. I don’t quite know how to describe it, and I won’t bother making that attempt because I’d ramble even more than I already do, but that half hour felt like ages. It was restful and liberating, and I was extremely appreciative that I went to the event, as it taught me that meditation is something that you actually have to try.
It’s not hippie business. It’s not weird or new age. It’s certainly not easy, but it’s worth trying. For me, it helped me focus and be more conscious of the present moment (another abstract concept that I have zero place trying to discuss), and although I’ve regularly been exposed to people who do that sort of thing, I never gave it a solid chance. I’m glad I did though.
